


Stand By Me

by LisaVanDerMolen



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Nightwing (Web Series), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluffy, Hurt/Comfort, It is bad thooo, Jason is a rock star, M/M, Rock Star AU, The outlaw's are a band, characters are very OOC, title is still in progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaVanDerMolen/pseuds/LisaVanDerMolen
Summary: January 28, The Outlaws won three Grammys, the Album of the Year and Record of the Year, awarded for their album and main record Vengeful Justice. Along with that they won the Song of the Year with their song A.L.I.V.E.March 4, The Outlaws won an Oscar for their original song Revive Me from the movie Replaced that went on to win The Best Picture, Original Score, and Cinematography.May 8, The Outlaws turned heads with their costume choices for the Met Gala themed “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination”.May 10, The Outlaws cancel their world tour due to unknown reasons.May 11, Roy Harper and Koriand'r spotted at Gotham hospital looking worried, could the lead singer Jason Todd be in trouble?The Outlaws started from nothing, now they have everything. The world knows them for their looks and music, but is there more to them? Or should we say him the lead singer Jason Todd. Who is the man behind the lyrics and why hasn't he dated anybody in Hollywood since his band took off?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is crap y'all don't read but if you do leave a comment and a kudo ;)

_January 28, The Outlaws won three Grammys, the Album of the Year and Record of the Year, awarded for their album and main record Vengeful Justice. Along with that they won the_

_Song of the Year with their song A.L.I.V.E._

_March 4, The Outlaws won an Oscar for their original song Revive Me from the movie Replaced that went on to win The Best Picture, Original Score, and Cinematography._

_May 8, The Outlaws turned heads with their costume choices for the Met Gala themed “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination”._

_May 10, The Outlaws cancel their world tour due to unknown reasons._

_May 11, Roy Harper and Koriand'r spotted at Gotham hospital looking worried, could the lead singer Jason Todd be in trouble?_

* * *

  **Six years earlier August 16th:**

“I can’t believe we finally made it!” Roy yelled excitedly as he gestured to the bartender to give them another round of shots. “Let's drink to The Outlaws!”

“We already drank to The Outlaws,” Kori sighed as she raised her glass anyways.

“Well we can never drink too much to us,” Roy smiled while he downed his shot in one go.

Jason rolled his eyes but joined in anyways, he could feel the liquid leaving a pleasant burn behind as it went down his throat. The band had finally really taken off and there was no better way to celebrate it than getting drunk on Jason’s birthday.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” he said as he slid off the bar stool. He was one hundred percent certain that neither Kori nor Roy heard him, as the two were to busy flirting. He hoped that the two would finally get their heads out of their asses and just start dating already.

As he walked he heard a voice call after him,“Uhm...sir. Sir--” Jason turned around and was met with the most beautiful electric blue eyes he had ever seen. He unconsciously raised an eyebrow wondering to why the man had called after him. “You dropped this,” the man said holding Jason’s wallet sheepishly.

“Oh, thank you--”

“--Dick.”

“Excuse me?” Jason tilted his head a bit when he noticed how the man had started to blush.

“Is my name,” he softly replied avoiding eye contact with Jason.

Jason smirked a bit,“Well Dick, I’m Jason.” Dick looked up at him from beneath his lashes. Jason smiled and offered Dick his outstretched hand as Dick took it,“Jason Todd, a pleasure to meet you Dick.” The pair shook hands and Jason noticed how much smaller Dick’s hands were than his.

“Dick Grayson, it’s also a pleasure meeting you mister Todd,” Dick smiled slyly. “And I am sorry if I offended you with how I introduced myself,” he softly bit his bottom lip.

Jason smiled intrigued with the man in front of him,“So far you’re the only who has managed to gather my attention.” Jason looked pointedly at their intertwined fingers.

“Oh.” Dick’s eyes widened a bit as his lushes lips opened and revealed his pearl white teeth. Unlike what Jason had assumed Dick did not let go of his hand. “Uhm,” Dick hummed thoughtfully,“If all it takes to gather your attention is returning your wallet I wonder, what I need to do for you to buy me a drink,” Dick playfully put on a thoughtful face tapping his chin.

“Well pretty bird if you were just looking for somebody to buy you a drink you came to the right guy,” Jason smirked.

Dick playfully raised an eyebrow,“Oh is that so?”

“Yeah, and I’ll prove it too you,” Jason smiled as he softly took Dick’s hand and felt electricity run coarse through his veins. Dick softly smiled back and looked at Jason from underneath his long eyelashes, as he followed Jason to the bar. Once the two were seated right next to each other at the bar stools near the bar, Jason looked at Dick. “So what do you want?”

Dick bit his lip contemplating his options,“Could I maybe get a blue Hawaiian cocktail?”  

Jason nodded his head as he signaled the bartender,“Hi how may I help you?” the girl asked.

“Can I have one blue Hawaiian cocktail and one glass of pincer vodka?” Jason asked politely as the bartender started to mix the drinks.

“Wow you can handle pincer vodka without getting knocked out?” Dick asked a bit amazed.

“Geez pretty bird you almost sound impressed, I personally prefer Spirytus Rektyfikowany,” Dick was gaping at Jason, his eyes and mouth wide open. His eyebrows were raised as he seemed to go over the words Jason had just said.

“You’re able to tolerate 96% of alcohol without dying…--”

“--yes I can pretty bird.”

“Damn I am really impressed.”

Before Jason could brag more the bartender put their drinks on the bar,“If you need anything else just call me over,” she said with a smile before turning her back to help the next customers.

Jason observed Dick carefully taking a sip from his drink, the liquid slowly being sucked up in the straw towards Dick’s mouth. He enjoyed the sight in front of him and felt himself slowly loosen up a bit as Dick closed his eyes enjoying the drink and sucking it ever so slowly from the straw. Jason could imagine a few things he wanted to do to that mouth, the first one being kissing it.

Dick looked up from his drink slowly opening his eyes blushing when he noticed the intensity of Jason’s gaze on his lips. He smiled as Jason leaned back a bit taking a sip of his drink. Both man meeting one another’s eyes asking the same question. Dick raised an eyebrow unimpressed taking another sip of his drink. Knowing damn well that he could not tolerate this much alcohol without a killer hangover the next morning.

“So Dick any particular reason why you’re here today?” Jason asked referring to the bar.  

Dick shrugged,“Not a particular reason, how about you?”  

“Everybody has a story pretty bird. What’s yours?” Jason asked with a grin that would put the devil’s to shame.

Dick smirked in return a mischievous glint in his eye,“Nothing, I am just a guy in a bar.”

“So am I.” Jason’s grin widened as he raised his glass,“Cheers to that.”

“Cheers.”

* * *

  **Six years earlier August 17th:**

Dick’s head was pounding. He felt dizzy and nauseous and every time he tried to open his eyes another ray of sunshine stabbed him. His head rested against something firm yet warm. Snuggling closer to the source Dick did not comprehend that his “pillow” had asked him a question.

“How’s your head?”

Dick shot up, his eyes wide open, a decision he regretted as the light in the room started to attack all his senses. His headache worsening as the seconds slowly ticked by. A deep chuckle heard beside him sounding rather amused as Dick groaned and fell back against his pillow once again, not caring that it was probably possessed.

“Here,” Dick felt two hands propping him up as he leaned back against the person still groaning,“drink up.”

Dick could feel something damp being held against his lips. The object had a rim that was smooth and felt like it was made out of paper, a few water droplets gracing Dick’s dry lips. He parted his lips and felt the liquid slide down his throat. He pushed his back more into the other person’s chest and drank greedily from the water as the chuckle above him continued.

He once again tried to open his eyes and found out that the light was actually bearable this time. Sadly the light illuminated the room he found himself in, a very unpleasant room in fact. The walls were painted a sad white colour and the furniture was all mismatched. The desk in front of him was a dark brown while the chair was black. The phone on top of the desk for some reason was neon pink.

“Wh--wher--where?” he croaked out regretting every decision he ever had made that led up to the hangover.

“Well pretty bird, we are in a shady ass cheap motel. In the middle of nowhere also I am pretty sure we did not pay for this…”

Dick looked up at the guy holding him and noticed how his hair was jet black yet it had a white streak. The guy was really really hot. Dick closed his eyes and flashes of last night appeared.

“Jason?” Dick asked as he remembered Jason buying him a drink and after that it was all a blur, Dick was certain that the two has been making out before his brain stopped storing memories. “Did we--”

“Ahh pretty bird you remember me, and here I thought you would never again,” Jason smiled showing off his pearly white teeth, Dick glared. “And no we did not sleep together because somebody passed out on me…” Jason smiled.

“I passed out on you…”

“That you did.”

“And you stayed while I passed out on you, in a shady motel room we probably did not pay for.”

“Yes I did,” Jason said staring at Dick.

“Oh my god, I have never ever done anything that could get me arrested!”

“Well me doing you could get me arrested,” Jason smirked.

Dick raised an eyebrow,“oh is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“How come?”

“Well it’s a crime to defile anything as beautiful as you,” Jason flirted before leaning in and capturing Dick’s lips with his own as Dick’s cheeks heated up. The kiss turned passionate as Jason flipped them and Dick was laying on his back. Their tongues dancing in harmony while Jason softly grinded against him, slowly lifting Dick’s shirt up exposing the smooth skin it was hiding underneath it. Dick brought his hand to rest underneath Jason’s shirt and felt the hard muscles. Jason broke the kiss and started to kiss down Dick’s neck. Dick moaned and closed his eyes, his earlier hangover non existent.

_Knock knock_

The knocks startled the two man as Jason stopped and Dick’s eyes widened in fear and in the arousal of being caught. “Housekeeping.” The housekeeper knocked three more times before moving to the next room complaining about how the door did not budge.

“Oh my god,” Dick breathed in relieve as he he heard Jason’s chuckle. “What are you chuckling about?”

“Pretty bird it is apparent that I am going to jail for you.”

“And how is that amusing?” Dick asked an eyebrow raised in disbelief as Jason just shook his head in amusement.

“We should get out of here before he comes back.”

Dick nodded in agreement and both man got up. Dick pulled his shirt down and internally groaned when he realized he slept in his jeans. He searched the room for one of his socks and was surprised to find it in the washroom. “How did you get here?” he muttered softly sliding it on, he glanced one last time around the room to see if he forgot something and joined Jason at the door.

“All set to go?” Dick nodded as Jason sought permission with Dick’s eyes to intertwine their fingers, Dick smiled. Jason looked into the peephole,“Coast is all clear. The minute we are out of here we’re going to sprint to the left wing staircase. Okay?”

“Wait why sprint only to the left wing staircase?”

“You’ll see in a second. One. Two. Three.” Jason opened the door and both man sprinted to the left wing staircase. Out of breath Dick giggled as he was pretty sure the housekeeper was cursing after them. The men quickly climbed the stairs and headed towards the right wing staircase that led into the parking lot. They checked the coast one last time and walked down the stairs hands still intertwined.

“Wow mister Todd seems you have quite experience with avoiding housekeepers in a shady “ass” cheap motel which we did not pay for,” Dick smiled as the corners of Jason’s mouth lifted slightly. The slight breeze leaving goosebumps on Dick’s arms.

“Well mister Grayson you don’t know half of it yet…” Jason smirked like a tiger noticing its prey as he pulled Dick in for a kiss.

Both man ignoring the ring of Jason’s phone.

_A new band named The Outlaws hit number one on billboard with their hit single Breaking Out. The band consist out of three members: Jason Todd, the lead singer, Koriand’r the bassist and Roy Harper the drummer. We’re excited to see what this hot new band has in store._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still trash I honestly don't know what you're expecting. But thanks anyway :)

**A memory that did not belong:**

“The only advice you will ever get from me is that you should never fall in love with anybody who hasn’t experienced fame to the extent you will boy,” the woman in front of Jason chuckled taking another gulp of the red whine in her black gold chalice.

“Don’t you think you have to much hope in me, _Talia_?” Jason quirked an eyebrow hearing her inhale sharply.

“I know potential when I see it Jason,” her underlying threat portrayed clearly, emerald eyes glistening in the light of the moon. The golden jewelry adorning her body shining, her golden bangles clacking against one another. The harsh winds cutting her hair singing their unforgiving songs spewing insults into her ears. In that moment Jason truly understood the meaning of power. The true meaning of the lone wolf who protected her pack, because that was what Talia was, a lone wolf trying to survive.

“You got a story I don’t know about?” he asked trying to lift the tension surrounding them. The balcony overlooked the sea, painting a picture of not belonging. Jason belonged on the streets, sleeping under the night sky and fearing for his life with every turn he took. He belonged near the dumpsters not in a some fancy hotel in Dubai. Jason also knew that Talia didn’t belong here either, looking at the waves cutting through the sand, leaving no witnesses behind. He knew she belonged in the dessert, where the sun was unforgiving and only the toughest survived. And maybe that’s why she took him in knowing that there was no place people like them belonged, besides hell.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Jason. That nobody knows about me,” she spoke in a gravelly voice unlike her normal honeyed voice he knew she spoke the truth. A model by day, a lonely women at night. It was ironic the way she had everybody bowing down to her every command in fear and maybe respect but never love. Jason heard the rumors about a woman living the simple life, who had managed to capture the eye of the demon, somehow making Talia fall in love with her. From there on the rumors started to vary some said that Talia cheated on her, others explicitly stated how the woman cheated on Talia, the most believable rumor however was that the women had left Talia because she could not handle the pressures that came with dating a model. Jason personally thought the last rumor came pretty close to what happened, if he hadn’t witnessed Ra’s al Ghul scaring away Talia’s bodyguard, Ra’s had something to do with the woman’s disappearance Jason was certain of it.

Jason sighed and sat down next to her, he knew if he offered her any kind of comfort she would have his head. “Likewise here,” he said looking up at the night sky. The moon shone brightly and as clear as the sky seemed there was no star insight.

“Life is a strange thing Jason, seeking out fame will change it forever, there’s no going back from that. Once you’ve reached the top the only thing you can do is fall down,” and that was the last thing Talia ever would say to him before letting him go. _“Because even gods lose.”_

* * *

  **Six years earlier August 25th:**

“Jason?”

Dick’s voice awakened Jason’s sleepless slumber. He groggily muttered,“Yeah?”

“What is your story?” Dick asked innocently his blue eyes filled with curiosity shining brighter than the sapphire diamonds they had seen the night before while exploring the city together.

“What?” Jason asked slowly losing feelings in his hands, a wave of nausea overflowing his senses as his stomach churned into itself, because no matter how tough Jason might act he knew that his story had left more than a few scars on him physically and mentally. Scars he was afraid to acknowledge himself.

“The first time we met you told me everybody had a story, so I am wondering what is yours.” Dick stated as he traced the outline of Jason’s Adidas shirt. The two man were currently tangled with each other on the couch of the beach house The Outlaws were currently staying at, a courtesy of a long lost friend.

“Honestly I don’t even know myself,” Jason said old feelings resurfacing as green eyes filled with disappointment looked at him, honeyed words cutting into his skin leaving him bare for all forms of attack.

“That’s okay Jay.” Dick’s voice slowly bringing him back from the memories he shouldn’t have to begin with. Memories of the people behind the curtains. He looked into Dick’s eyes, and the world seemed to slow down for him as he heard the applause thundering in the distance people dancing to _his_ music, and a pair of blue eyes joining him on the stage. He wanted Dick dare he say needed him?

They had met each other nine days ago, it only took one for Jason to long for this man. They had spent every passing minute together since the hotel, learning from one another. One moment Jason pounded Dick into the mattress and others it was the pair curled up just enjoying each other’s company. Maybe this was what people meant when they referred to their lost summer days and their vanished summer lovers. Because everybody knew that once autumn started the waves would turn, the tides slowing down and the water cooling taking the young couples love with it, locking it away in hopes it would be able to return it to its rightful owners. _If it’s meant to be it will be..._

“What about you?”

Dick hummed thoughtfully gazing into Jason’s eyes, so close yet so far. An eternal being not meant for the hands of a street rat like Jason. A glint in his eyes that wasn’t playful nor joyful a glint that revealed hardships faced, to many glints faked for others benefits. Maybe just maybe Dick wasn’t an eternal being above Jason.  Dick cocked his head to the side shaking both himself and Jason out of their thoughts, peering from underneath his eye lashes. “I don’t think mine started yet, _Jay_.”

We could change that, he wanted to say, oh so desperately, even though the inevitable departure the next day would tear both of their hearts as it was. “Well prettybird, you got any dreams and aspirations to full fill?” he asked instead clearing the air for a more light hearted conversation.

“Well _little wing_ ,”Jason groaned at the nickname getting an amused smirk from Dick flashed towards him. “So far nothing as exciting as you becoming a star.”

“Don’t play coy with me now pretty boy, me becoming a star is just a case of dumb luck,” Dick gaped at him.

“That--wh--ho--you are an insufferable prick Jason!” Dick exclaimed angrily sitting up, before Jason cold protest he continued on,“The Outlaws are amazing you guys are soooo freaking good like I can’t, and you know what Jason the lyrics _you_ wrote about _your_ journey through life. And yes Kori and Roy are amazing without them the song wouldn’t be complete but let me tell you one thing Jason Todd,” to emphasize his point Dick pointed at Jason. “You are not a case of dumb luck, you are a case of talent. Raw honest talent, when you sing I feel your pain, I feel your emotions and its wonderful. So don’t you ever tell me again that you becoming a star is ‘just a case of dumb luck’,” Dick huffed angrily before returning to his position on top of Jason.

Jason fondly stroked Dick’s feather soft hair, the afternoon sun that peeked in between the curtains painting a halo above Dick. “Well that was more than one thing,” Jason teased as a pretty blush slowly creeped up Dick’s cheek.

“Ughh I was so motivational and that’s all you got out of my long speech?” Dick asked his eyebrow raised clearly fighting both the blush and smile that threatened to show on his face. Jason smiled back holding Dick contently in his arms as Dick showed of his teeth. “A teacher and then I think a high school one because I personally feel that kids need the most guidance in high school. Those years essentially define who you are as a person and what you are gonna do with it.”

Jason nodded thoughtfully he could see Dick as a teacher a job helping out the youth, just any job that required Dick to help any form of life would suit him. “What about you?”

Yeah what about you Jason?

* * *

  **A broken memory:**

“Jay baby,” he heard his mother’s croaky voice. Her lungs ruined with all the stuff she did, today however she was sober. No drinks, pills, or powders around, only her and her son. Sheltering from the thunderstorm underneath their leaking roof.

_Drip drip drip_

“Yeah mom?” he asked feeling cold and hungry it had been two days since he last ate. Two days since he last stole from the farmers market some apples and pears, they weren’t really filling but life went on.

…(she said something Jason can’t remember it to save his life) “You can be whatever you want baby.”

The days that were good were when she was sober for the second day in a row. The first day she would be in a haze, the second she was all around and lived life acknowledged her son, the third she would relapse and get desperate, the fourth she was desperate and would do _anything_ to feel the high.

That day was a third day, she was getting desperate.

* * *

  _The Outlaws first concert will be held in the Rogers Stadium in England, tickets sold out in the first twenty minutes. Let’s see if this band is as good as everybody expects/wants them to be. Will they survive or are they just another ten minutes of fame?_

* * *

  **Six years earlier August 25th:**

What about you Jason? He should be thankful he made it this far in life. He should be thankful that the band had finally taken off, how dare he dream about anything else besides the band and their success? Why the hell was he longing for the all American dream that included somebody to come home to everyday. The dream where a mini him would run around the house, a dog protecting their family, and the man in his arms to share it with. Didn’t life teach him over and over, that that life wasn’t for him. It was for good people such as Dick, not him, never him.

“I would probably continue going with the flow,” he tried to shrug faking the confidence in his tone.

Dick raised an unamused eyebrow at him,“Jason, you do not ‘go with the flow’, I swear to god I have never met somebody who is more prepared for a situation to go south than you.”

“Maybe it is time I should.” And lose everything he worked for so hard?

“No,” Dick said in a definite voice as he took Jason’s face in his hands and softly forced Jason to look at him. “Don’t change.”

“Aw pretty bird you do care about me.”

Dick huffed but continued to look into Jason’s eyes. “If you weren’t on your way to become a star you would be a writer, you would have majored in literature or the English language or maybe a combination of both,” Dick started off softly painting a pretty picture into Jason’s head. “Along the way you would start teaching English classes in community colleges, not judging anybody who couldn’t afford to go to a prestigious institution. You would settle down and have two kids.”

In between Dick describing Jason’s maybe future he had closed his eyes being sucked into a world he could not have,“Oh yeah?” he asked feeling Dick rest his forehead against his. “Yes,” a soft whisper caressed his face. Somewhere in between those words a hidden answer to a promised question.

Dick left the following morning and took Jason’s heart with him. Two young summer lovers only meant to be for the short period of time they were. Jason and the band prepared to take off to England, and if Jason drank a little more that day than usual, well that was his business. The concerned glances of Kori and Roy could go to hell.

* * *

_The Outlaws first concert was the event of the year, many critics thought it was risky of the band to perform so quickly after only releasing one single, not even their first album. However The Outlaws proved them wrong by blowing away everybody’s mind with songs that portrayed: hatred, anger, betrayal, and at last a lost summer lover. The lead singer Jason Todd opened the night with, This Summer an exclusive single that will not be on their first album. Who oh who broke the heart of this bad boy?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you survived it again you survivor, leave a comment and a kudo they make my day and motivate me to write more. Btw I am for some weird reason really proud with the was I wrote the first part of this chapter just capturing Talia. I don't have a updating schedule yet because it's summer but the minute school starts I'll figure something out (hopefully)... :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers I apologize for his crap but at the end note there is an explanation why it took me so long to publish this chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter its still trash tho....

_May 13, still no news on The Outlaws according to a source in the hospital lead singer Jason Todd hasn’t left the hospital, is he in trouble?_

* * *

**Six years earlier December 10th:**

_Speculations are arising that The Outlaws might release a holiday special, fans are buzzing with excitement._

“Did you read the article I just send over?” Roy asked pacing around the conference room. The band was supposed to discuss possible tour dates. Jason and Kori made eye contact with each other smiling at Roy’s rant about how he was not just the side character to add humor to the plot. “I mean like I understand why Kori is the main character but you,” he pointed an accusing finger at Jason,“the love interest. You don’t have a romantic bone in your body.”

Both Jason and Kori had a hard time keeping their laughter in both amused at how serious Roy was taking the Buzzfeed article. “If it offends you so much why don’t you write them an email,” Kori slyly offered.

“That’s a good idea Star!”

“A better idea would be writing a letter, I mean even I second guess everything I do whenever I get a _handwritten_ letter in the mail,” Jason said in a serious tone avoiding eye contact with Kori.

“That’s an even better idea Jaybird, I mean what would I do without you guys?!” Roy grabbed the yellow notebook that lay on the table and the black pen next to it. “How should I address it? Should I be like, to whom this may concern you suck, sincerely Roy Harper.”

“That sounds great!”

“Amazing Roy!”

“You guys are so supportive.” Roy started to work deeply in concentration, everybody knew that Roy’s handwriting was anything but legible it was chicken scratch that somehow at the same time managed to look ancient. That’s how Roy survived for a while, writing false information down and selling it to history buffs. One of his most famous “historical artifacts” was, ‘Mine sword is bigger than thou’s both foes and fiends alike’ for a while it was in the Shakespearean section of Metropolis’s museum. A fact that amused the hell out of all The Outlaws members, one of their most celebrated victory. For a while the trio had thought that maybe a career in forging art would do them good, but alas Kori’s good looks would get them eventually caught.

The public knew the most about Kori with her previous career as a model. She was known to be the opener for the Victoria Secret show at the tender age of eighteen. She was also the main character in the kids show Tamaran, where she played princess Starfire. She disappeared after her big opener for Victoria Secret, however she was once again reeled back into the world of fame and drama.

Jason smiled and even though he wasn’t as happy as he had been this summer, it came pretty darn close, just existing with the people that he would go to hell and back for.

* * *

**Six years earlier November 26th:**

Dick exhaled slowly, the pit of anxiety in the bottom of his stomach weighing him down with every step he took. It had already been three months including August since he last saw Jason, he should’ve been over the guy already. But he wasn’t, he was not over Jason Todd and seeing him everywhere hurt. Hearing his deep raspy voice from all directions made him feel nauseous. Jason should have been nothing more than a summer lover, instead he started to feel like he was more, so much more.

He kept his breathing steady and walked with his head high towards his appartement. He first wanted to get a dorm but figured he wouldn’t have the privacy he craved, it was true Dick loved being coddled and coddling others, however there were times when he just wanted to breath on his own. A decision he couldn’t have been more grateful for making after the events of the summer. In his apartment there were no traces of The Outlaws, or Jason Todd. No traces of this summer, except for his broken heart and a box hidden in his closet.

He was strong, he didn’t need to open the box. He wouldn’t open the box, his mind was fighting his body as his feet led him towards his closet. He opened it and crouched down, fingers sliding against the smooth surface of the inside of the closet until they felt a small metal box. He took a deep breath and took the box out of the closet.

His feet once again led him, this time to his bed. He gently placed the box on top of his bed afraid that he would break it, and took a seat next to it. Inhale...exhale...inhale...he could do this. He flipped the metal clasp upwards, opening the box. He looked at the contents and felt his already broken heart break more. The sound so clear that he was surprised none of his neighbors had asked him if he was okay, or called an ambulance. Blood rushed to his ears leaving an unwelcoming warmth behind as the pit of anxious nerves once again returned to the pit of his stomach. His throat tightened, eyes watering and sobs no longer contained.

He took out the first item, a card key to a motel room. The memory taking him back to the night he met Jason. He was a storm of perfect chaos while Dick was a storm of perfect stillness. They were so different yet—yet somehow their lives had intertwined with one another’s. Dick bit his lip, teeth digging into his bottom lip leaving deep red marks behind. Maybe if he closed his eyes he could feel Jason leaving the marks behind. He closed his eyes and was met with a sight that didn’t do his broken heart any good. Fate was cruel he came to learn.

* * *

**Six years earlier August 24th:**

“Jay,” he whined when Jason made absolutely no progress of letting Dick go. Strong arms wrapped around him making him listen to Jason’s steady heartbeat. He had spent the last couple of minutes softly tracing silent I love you’s into Jason’s skin and felt at peace. As much as Dick hated to break the peaceful atmosphere he knew that the two had to get going. There was still so much of the city they hadn’t explored yet.

“Jason,” he tried again, feeling the man exhale softly,“I want to explore the city some more.” He heard Jason groan and looked up,“we only have two more days together, I want to make the most out of them.”

“I know baby, I know,” Jason replied softly still not letting Dick go, instead he tightened his arms around him. “Let’s explore when everybody’s asleep,” he whispered in his deep husky voice making Dick stir up with interest.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Dick hummed thoughtfully for a moment eyes flashing mischievously,“what would you do to me in the mean time?” He asked innocently fluttering his eyelashes, teeth digging in his bottom lip, baby blues looking up to Jason expectantly. Painting a picture that Jason wouldn’t be able to resist.

Jason gave his famous the devil may care smirk and looked at Dick, his eyes devouring Dick’s body. Something Dick couldn’t wait for to happen…

* * *

**Six years earlier November 26th:**

Dick forced his eyes open, not wanting to dwell on what had happened after. He didn’t want to imagine, feel the way Jason had flipped them around and teased him mercilessly. He didn’t want to remember the way Jason marked him like there was no tomorrow. He didn’t want to not have Jason.

Sweet sweet Jason who was guarded yet loved people easily. Jason who let Dick in even though he was terrified. Jason who hated chick flick moments but didn’t mind having them with Dick. Jason who recited poetry and didn’t treat Dick like a dirty immigrant. Jason who—who had Dick’s heart. Jason who probably had already forgotten about Dick.

The tears slid down his cheeks and he felt the sobs shaking his entire body’s core. He couldn’t go through the box anymore, it hurt too much. He put the key back coaxing himself to not give in to temptation and look at the sapphire diamond bracelet Jason had bought for him that day. Twinkling in the closed box.

* * *

**Six years earlier August 24th:**

Dick gasped seeing the dark blue velvet box in Jason’s hand. He looked into Jason’s eyes and saw him open and vulnerable, a side that Jason didn’t show him or the world that often. Dick took the box gently, afraid he would break whatever was inside of it. The box was to big to be a ring but to small to be a necklace. The velvet felt soft against his fingertips as slowly opened the box a bit, the setting sun made the object within sparkle brightly. A few reflected light rays blinding him.

Dick looked at Jason’s face one last time wanting to forever stay in the moment as Jason was anxiously waiting for Dick’s reaction. Dick slowly further opened the box, taking his time, and felt butterflies swirling in his stomach. The presence of the bracelet embedded with sapphire diamonds making his insides feel like mush.

His eyes wide with wonder, fingertips trailing over the smooth rocks. He was speechless, looking at Jason like he was the only one that mattered. The seagulls faded away, the oceans waves muted and Dick’s heart thumped feeling like he stood in the dim lit bar again, fingers intertwining with Jason’s feeling electricity coarse through his body. A meeting that felt like it happened a life time ago.

“Jay,” he said feeling slightly out of breath with the way his heart was beating so fast.

Jason was gentle he hadn’t hurt Dick once but the way he took the bracelet out of the box oh so gently made something deep within Dick stir. Jason took Dick’s left wrist and slid the bracelet on. A perfect fit.

Stormy eyes were met with electric ones, everything disappeared as the two love birds gazed deep into each other’s eyes. “Diamonds reflect,” Jason stated plain and simple, Dick’s features twisted to a confused expression. Jason brought his calloused hands up and cupped Dick’s face, lips mere millimeters apart. “This will hopefully reflect your soul as beautifully as I see it. The light to my shadows. The waves to my ocean. The purpose of my life,” he said before claiming Dick’s lips. Dick desperately wished Jason had asked him to stay that day because he knew deep down he wouldn’t have to think twice before saying yes.

* * *

**Six years earlier December 10th:**

Dick muttered a string of curses underneath his breath as he rushed down the street towards the nearest Starbucks. He had applied for a position as the assistant of Oswald Cobblepot seeing how his savings were slowly going down the drain. He didn’t think that being the assistant to "Penguin" meant doing all his work for him, he was seriously not getting paid enough for this. Along with that he didn't sign up for being hit upon by almost all of his bodyguard's every opportunity that presented it self. The penguin however was a scary "gentlemen", that survived longer in the showbiz than anybody gave him credit for. 

The cold air was hurting his cheeks and numbing the rest of his face. He felt tears forming in his eyes as the wind kept on clawing at them. Just another twenty steps and he would be inside Starbucks, a place where they had a heater, nice smell and the false sense of security.

Dick walked faster and pushed the door open, greeted by the aroma of fresh coffee and a hot wave of air. He took everything in slowly starting to feel his face again. The tingling in his numb hands however was a different story. He shook his hand trying to get rid of only for it to become more persistent. For what felt like the fiftieth time that day he cursed the universe while joining the rest of the people in line.

The man in front of him seemed familiar, he wore black jeans and combat boots. His red jacket hiding how well built he probably was. Dick looked at him curiously, most people had taken off their hoods, winter hats but this guy hadn’t,  he kept black hat on, Dick assumed it to be a Nike hat. When the stranger had turned his head for less then a second Dick noticed he wore sunglasses, maybe he had sight problems? Deep down Dick knew this man, he suspected him to be someone who wasn’t supposed to take over such a large portion of Dick’s brain. Dick shrugged it off clearly he was going crazy, he had gone to bed late yesterday and felt himself coming down with something.

Before he realized it, it was his turn. He noticed that the stranger somehow had already managed to get his three coffees, maybe he had used the app. Dick was about to say his order when something brown near the registry caught his eye, somebody’s wallet. Well not anybody the chances of it belonging to the guy who was informs of him were high. Dick sighed deeply knowing that if he didn’t return there and then his conscious would eat him alive, he rather not deal with the pit of guilt that would form in his stomach. He flashed the barista an apologetic smile before grabbing the wallet from the ground, running after the stranger, once again being embraced by the cold air that lingered over the city.

Picking up his pace he saw the stranger turn around the corner. 'Here goes for nothing', he thought. “Hey!” He yelled after him. “Hey, you tall stranger with the Starbucks cups! Hello! Sir!” The freaking asshole didn’t even hear Dick over the screaming of the wind. He ran after him and before the stranger could completely disappear Dick grabbed the hand that went to his back pocket. Clearly the stranger was going to grab his phone to call someone, but before he could so Dick grabbed him. And a familiar buzz of electricity coursed through his body when Dick faced the stranger who miraculously still held on to the cup holder with all of his coffees. Or well not a stranger, Dick would recognize that face anywhere. It followed him in his nightmares and graced his dreams.

  
It was the face of ~~his~~ _Jason_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for not uploading or replying to comments as we moved to a new house and we literally got wifi yesterday. Now you must think hmmm she must have written more chapters, in reality I have the next chapter partly done and I'm real sad about that because  
> I had weeks to write more. However the think is that I hate working on my Ipad and my laptop didn't have google docs, I have the old word and that one is shiz. Along with that I kind of have an idea for the ending but omg no because it turned a bit to deep and I just can't. All that's said and done I want to say that penguin won't be a big part of the story or any part really he's just mentioned and that's that. So like thank you all for reading because even though this is trashy JayDick are my babies especially Jay cuz he a little piece of shit and he ain't denying it. So leave a comment cuz they actually inspire me to write more and kudos and all that dingalabobs so thank you guys for coming to my ted talk today :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for not uploading for like two weeks. This story is still trash y'all. NOT PROOF READ, I was to lazy, my bad :)

**Present Day:**

The machines hummed singing to tunes he didn’t understand, their sounds piercing his entire being. He felt the lack of fresh air in the dull hospital room. Time moved slowly and all he could do was look. How did it happen? Why did happen? Why was life so cruel to her own children? Why did fate keep on pushing him to the edge? Why was death around every corner he turned? Why oh why? The questions kept on floating through his mind. A storm that slowly came to drown him. He should close his eyes and succumb to it. Maybe then Love would make herself known.

* * *

  **Six years earlier December 10th:**

“It’s your turn,” Roy stated.

“What do you mean it’s my turn? I got the coffee last time and the time before that, and the time before that,” Jason said feeling slightly frustrated, he knew that he would be the one to get the coffee anyways. Somehow his friends had decided that Jason was going to be the unofficial coffee runner.

“Jay—son,” was the only thing Roy said before looking over at Kori’s direction, his eyes lingered over the beauty, who was looking out of the window at the city. Her green eyes wide with curiosity as she observed the mass of people rushing to the different places they had to be at.

Jason rolled his eyes,“disgusting,” was all he muttered before grabbing his jacket, a hat and sunglasses. The world had only known of The Outlaws for give or take three months however the paparazzi and fans were crazy. They came in hoards and sometimes Jason didn’t remember why. “The usual?” He asked startling Kori causing Roy to give him a silent death stare before grinning and nodding.   

“Yes please,” Kori said, unimpressed with Roy’s manners or well lack of them,“same for this one. Thanks Jason”

“No problem,” he muttered leaving the meeting room. He headed to the elevators and pushed the button. Tapping his foot against the carpeted floor. Tap. Tap. Tap. Ping! The noise of the elevator doors opening startled him, he shook his head trying to get rid of a lost memory that came with that sound. He walked into the elevator whom awaited him with wide open arms. A man stood in the corner in a deep conversation on the phone. Without acknowledging him Jason stepped into the elevator and went to the other corner.

“He’s a hot little thing, I’m telling you in no time I’ll have him under me.—no he hasn’t responded to any of my attempts yet, no matter what I do. One time I even took him to that five star restaurant you recommended, I told him it was a treat on me, and that he could get anything—yeah—no—I told him he could get anything he wanted. And you know what he does?”

Jason felt his whole body tense up preparing to give this man plastic surgery for free. He hated people who didn’t take no for no, he sure as hell wouldn’t mind leaving the man with a warning. He rolled his eyes as the man changed topic to what he should have for lunch today. “Obnoxious little piece of shit,” he said as the man looked up to him in confusion.

The man shook his head. Dumbass. “Oh yeah back to what that little hot piece of ass did—he literally got up and walked away—yeah I know right—I mean obviously I called after him asking him what the hell he was doing, only for him to flash me a smiled and say he was taking the day off—the audacity of him, it just makes me want him more—”

Jason balled his hands into fists inhaling and exhaling, he wouldn’t punch the guy only scare him to death, a mantra he had to keep on repeating to himself. I’m not going to kill him.

“His name—ard—yeah Grayson.”

He was going to kill this man.

Before Jason could even fully comprehend what he was doing he had the man’s shirt balled up. Coming face to face to him Jason saw just how much bigger he was than him. “Listen up you little piece of shit,” he brought his face near the other man’s. The man gulped his eyes widened, the color slowly leaving his face,“if you attempt to do anything to this Grayson person or anybody else for that matter, I will personally find you and behead you,” Jason snarled. “Understood?”

The man only nodded his head before exiting the elevator to an unknown floor, running away in fear. He knew a Grayson, the chances of them being the same person was highly unlikely. Grayson was a sort of common name. Whatever. He shook his head clearing his head before exiting the elevator.

The chilly air slowly bringing him back to his senses, he shook his head and walked towards the cab already waiting for.

“Where to go sir?” the man asked boredom lacing his tone.

“The nearest Starbucks,” was all he said before sliding into the backseat, buckling himself in and looking at all the buildings pass by. The wind still howling outside making the leaves on the ground dance.

* * *

**Present Day:**

In movies they make the hospital scenes always filled with so much hope. Hope that whoever has fallen ill will recover. In real life these “hospital scenes” have only two possibilities, either life or death. There is no kiss of true love that will break this spell. In real life we all die seeing the love of our lives suffer. We all perish when the inevitable happens.

Breath in. Breath out. In. Out.

A mindless routine that soon won’t mean anything. He didn’t feel anything as he watched his lover’s body hooked up to the machines. Where did they go wrong?

* * *

**Six years earlier December 10th:**

They stared at each other for the longest time. Taking everything in as Dick still held onto Jason’s wrist. They truly were a perfect storm. Where Jason provided the darkness, Dick provided the thunder.

He truly hadn't expected to meet Dick like this. And maybe that's why he felt the world slow no speed up. All those romcoms and romantic novels had lied to him, when you reunited with your lover the world didn't slow down. It sped up, making you want to chase them forever, beat time and all the expectations it came with. Chasing time, a concept Jason was a bit to familiar with, because wasn't that what he had been doing his whole life? Chasing time. 

Jason felt his heart stop as he looked at the man in front of him. Jason had never been big on religion, he truly did not have many reasons to believe in a force above that would take care of him. But right freaking now was the moment he truly understood why people stayed true to their religion or faith. His prayers were answered. Maybe that’s what faith was staying true to a person, that made earth feel like heaven.

 _Heaven on earth_ , Jason felt inspired, as flashes of this summer came to his mind. No matter how long he stared, it simply didn’t feel enough as he took everything in. The way Dick’s golden tan had lightened a bit, his nose and cheeks a rosy red colour. His lushes lips bright red with faded indents in them. And his eyes, oh his eyes, no memory that Jason had of the summer did them justice. Electric blues dimming the colours around them. Jet black lashes protecting them as the wind kept wounding them. Dick sniffed a bit, Jason couldn’t tell if it was from the wind or the tears he was desperately trying to keep in.

“Already forgotten what I look like, _Jay_?” a teasing edge to that melodic voice trying to hide the uncertainty they both felt.

Jason grinned the same grin he had flashed Dick in that dim lit bar. And for a moment the two lovebirds were taken back to the beginning, Dick holding out Jason’s wallet. “I wouldn’t dare, _pretty bird_.”  

Jason doesn’t know what possessed him but he dropped the coffees, startling Dick in the process. Roy and Kori were going to kill him. The carton cup holder hit the ground first spilling the three coffees on the floor surprisingly only one coffee cup managed to loosen itself from the cup holder’s iron grip and rolled away. The three coffee’s released their hot fumes into the cold air. Dick shuffled a little closer to the fumes trying to warm up his body, losing his grip on Jason’s wrist.

Jason walked to Dick and cupped his face, not caring that he walked through hot coffee. His warm hands against Dick’s cold skin. They both leaned in only a mere millimeter apart,“may I kiss you?” The question lingered on Dick’s face as he nodded. It took Jason less than a second before colliding their lips together, Dick dropped Jason’s wallet.

Maybe this time around they would be okay. The clouds opened their gates and snow slowly started to caress the two lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm always making excuses to why I'm not uploading but like school had been dragging me down, especially math. But that's besides the point leave a comment a kudo, and just like enjoy this :) You know what's ironic I had this chapter finished last week Friday but I literally forgot to post it, so freaking dumb.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trash I don't know what you're expecting.

**Six years earlier December 12th:**

“So?”

“So…”

The room was tense as Jason observed Dick, the pair was reunited two days earlier and hadn’t done much talking. Well...not counting the pillow talk, and the sweet nothings driving one another over the edge. Questions seemed to have filled Dick’s tiny apartment, the answers nowhere in sight.

“How have you been?”

Jason didn’t know how to answer, he also didn’t know how to get rid of the unease surrounding the pair. So he shrugged and nodded lamely,“how about you?”

“Well...uhm,” Dick seemed flustered trying to find the words to lift the cloud suffocating them. Dick shook his head sadly realizing that there were no words to lift the cloud, something that didn’t happen often. “What are we doing Jay-son?”

Jason’s lip quirked a bit as he heard the term of endearment only Dick could use. Just as quick as the amusement came it disappeared. What the hell were they doing? “I don’t know Dick, I don’t know,” his shoulders slumped a bit in defeat. Dick flashed a tiny smile that only worsened the dread in the pit of his stomach.

He wanted to get up and run, but somehow his body was planted right next to Dick’s, in front of the window that overlooked the street. Suddenly Dick laughed aloud his giggles echoing all around, startling Jason a bit.

“Look...hic...at us...hic,” Dick laughed before his eyes turned glassy and tears started to escape their prison. “Look at us,” Dick sobbed and somehow Jason understood everything. He pulled Dick close and softly wiped the tears away.

“Suffocating,” Dick looked up as Jason bared his soul,“I feel like I am suffocating in a grave I dug for myself. And I can’t keep up--,” Jason wanted to tell Dick everything from the way the pressure of being in the limelight was chipping away pieces from him. How it seemed that the more successful the band became the less they truly remembered why they did what they did. But he was at a loss of words as nothing could come even close to describing what he felt.

“--it seems the world is moving so fast you're just watching it from a distance,” Dick’s voice cracked a bit, lost in thought a world far apart. “Chasing time but never coming close to even touching it. The more you run towards it the further it slips away,” Dick looked straight into Jason’s eyes. And as horrible as Jason felt that the beautiful, smart, cheeky Dick Grayson understood exactly how he felt, it was refreshing, a relieve that maybe he wasn’t messed up to badly.

“What self dug grave is suffocating you?”

For a minute Dick looked absolutely done with everything around him,“university,” was his one worded reply. Before they knew it the pair was laughing aloud.

They were alright.   

* * *

**A memory before he met his summer lover:**

The light coming through the windows illuminated everything around him as he felt absolute peace. A sense of lightness he only experienced when he was flying. Flying through the air, defying gravity. Trusting his instincts only as he ran from rooftop to rooftop, and swung through the air relying on the wind to catch him, when he parkoured through the city feeling time slow down.  

“I have never seen you here before,” a voice guided him back to the real world. He looked to the source of the sound and saw a pretty girl. She had black hair that seemed violet in the sun rays coming from the windows. Pale skin, dark eyes, lips decorated with a black coloured lipstick.

Dick flashed her a smile,“I’m new…”

She looked at him debating whether or not to join him, before she decided to sit down next to him,“What brings you here,” she gestured at their surroundings.

“The light,” Dick shrugged, she studied him like a scientist studies a mouse, dark eyes staring straight into his blue ones.

“The light brought you to an abandoned church at six in the morning?” she asked incredulously yet somehow her voice remained monotonous. He just nodded wondering what she was doing here. She continued to study him,“Rachel.”

“Uh?”

“My name is Rachel,” she stretched out her hand for him to shake.

“Dick.”

She nodded her head as if she was in a deep thought and an uncomfortable silence fell over them. “It’s okay to have demons chasing you,” she said the look in here eyes helping Dick understand that she knew why he was here. “As long as they don’t win your safe.”

“Are you religious?” he asked intrigued by her.

“Perhaps.”

“Perhaps?” he questioned feeling like a parrot.

“The thing about religion is that it is a safe haven that allows you to believe that you’ll be taken care of. That there is a reason for everything and the darkness won’t last long,” she started and Dick nodded, everybody had a different view on religion which he accepted. “But I know that this isn’t the truth, but still a part of me is drawn to the sense of peace. What about you?”

“God works in mysterious ways, he gives you everything but won’t hesitate to take it away before you know it,” Rachel nodded. “But there is an odd sense of beauty within the chaos...if that makes any sense,” Dick laughed nervously not knowing what had possessed him to talk to the girl.

“A sanctuary when the world crumbles.”

“A sanctuary when the world crumbles,” he agreed, she had absolutely no idea how his world had crumbled.

* * *

 

**Six years earlier December 12th:**

“Dick?”

“Hmm,” Dick hummed distracted by the snowflakes hitting his window, taking another sip of the hot chocolate that Jason made.

“Why are you religious?” Dick looked over at Jason and saw the man puzzled with confusion. His eyebrows furrowed, lightly biting his bottom lip. The two had talked about everything but nothing that mattered all afternoon long. The sun had disappeared and the only light in the apartment was from the flickering street light. A blanket keeping the two men warm, the temperature had dropped below zero, and Dick was enjoying every moment he could with his own personal human furnace.

He contemplated his answer, why was he religious? “I don’t--I don’t--religion,” Dick fumbled over his words not knowing how he could explain why he was religious to Jason without him scaring him away.

Jason looked at him pulling Dick close, so that the other man could rest his head on his shoulder. Dick smiled appreciatively cuddling into the crook of Jason’s neck. “I am a believer because it brings me closer to my parents, I guess…” Dick trailed off, Jason and him hadn’t really brushed the family topic, but Jason knew Dick’s parents had passed away and Dick knew that Jason’s mother had overdosed.

Jason looked at him his face blank of any emotions, for Jason to understand why he believed Dick needed to open up. By opening up Dick would be taking whatever they had to the next level. Dick wasn’t sure if Jason was willing to go there with him.

He sighed deeply,“My parents were acrobats for the Haly’s circus. They were known for breaking world records and people from all over the world came to watch them--”

Dick closed his eyes and was back at the circus. He saw the colourful flags decorating the tent. The hushed whispers of the performers as they complained about the weather. He heard the growling of a lion, chirping of birds, and Zitika’s stomping. For a mere second the lights blinded him a the crowd chanted his name. And then he opened his eyes and was met with a concerned look in Jason’s eyes.

“--I was eight at the time when my parents decided to leave the circus. They realized that there was no future for me in it. We moved to Gotham...and my life as a normal child began...I guess.”

“I guess?” Jason questioned.

“My parents were both born into the circus, well not the same circus but they started off at one, if that makes sense?” Jason nodded. “They were both Romani, and from an ancient lineage of gypsies.”

Jason looked at Dick,“so technically you’re a full Romani and gypsy?”

Dick nodded slightly blushing feeling a bit ashamed of his ethnicity,“that’s fucking awesome,” Jason muttered looking impressed.

“Really?” Dick asked softly, the fear of being judged still evident in body language. Jason looked straight at Dick softly tightening his grip around the other man.  

“Really, anybody who doesn’t believe that should go fuck themselves, or better you could bring them to me,” this caused Dick to smile a genuine smile that seemed to make this part of their story more tolerable.

“Okay back to the question,” he said snuggling back into Jason. “Thus they both grew up as Roman Catholics, however as my grandparents never pressured it upon them they didn’t pressure it on me. We still prayed before every meal, and if we stayed in a town long enough they always took me to mass.”

Dick remembered sitting in the back rows of a beautiful church, in a city he couldn’t remember the name of. He sat there as the priest talked in a foreign language, even though he didn’t know a word in it he understood what the priest said. Because God didn’t have a language. Everybody seemed in deep thought, Dick closed his eyes and imagined flying like a bird towards heaven.

He cleared his throat,“like I said I was eight when we got out of the circus life, because both my parents never got any proper education it was a hard for them to adjust to life Gotham and we struggled. Until we stumbled on a small church, a community that took care of her own. They helped my parents get jobs and a small apartment, and every Sunday we went to mass.”

Before Dick continued he looked at Jason who seemed in thought. “My parents knew English but it was broken,” he smiled remembering his father’s deep voice and his mom’s honeyed voice messing up words in English but smiling about it. “So they pushed me to get good grades, so that I wouldn’t end up like them. Even though there were moments that they were hard on me I appreciate everything they’ve done for me…”

He slightly nudged Jason trying to get his attention,“please don’t judge me or feel pity for me, for the next part. Okay?”

“Hey, pretty bird I would never judge or pity you for anything, okay?” Jason said rubbing soothing circles into Dick’s arms.  

Dick inhaled shakily closing his eyes for the memory that haunted him.

* * *

**The Memory of That Night:**

The sirens flashed blue and red colours blinding him, as he pushed past the crowd of officers trying to stop him and console him. He stumbled upon the scene and wished with everything he had that he didn’t do that. The bodies of his parents lay in front of him, his mother’s neck was twisted at a horrible angle while his father was crumbled up like a piece of paper.

He heard wails and screams from many of the residents crying over the lost homes, pets, family members. He watched his parents die, one minute they were on the balcony tending to the flowers his mother had planted in pots, the next they were on the bottom of the street no trace of balcony attached to their apartment left.

It happened in slow motion as he reached out for his parents while the balcony gave out. His mother’s scream was stuck in her throat, his father tightened the grip on her waist in hopes of saving her. Eyes wide before both of them disappeared behind a cloud of dust.

An earthquake had done it. The old building was unstable but the balconies were the ones to go first. It was a wonder Dick hadn’t died with the way the walls crumpled around him, if the firefighter had reached one second later he would have died.

Dick took in the scene in front of him and screamed a heartbreaking scream only a child watching his parents die could let out. The officers asked hims questions but he couldn’t respond and before he knew it he was in the back on an ambulance.

The clock hit twelve and he had officially turned sixteen. Happy birthday to him…

* * *

  **Six years earlier December 12th:**

Jason looked at Dick who looked numb at everything around him, stuck in a place far away. Jason hadn’t know Dick had suffered such a huge trauma and that on his birthday. Dick finally seemed to snap out of his daze and smiled weakly at Jason.

“After they passed away, I stayed at the church. I was angry at the world, and God because I simply didn’t understand why he had taken my parents from me. Because what had they ever done to harm somebody? But even though I was angry at everything I didn’t have anybody to point fingers at or comfort me. So in my darkest days my religion kept me safe and warm, and helped me believe that there was more to darkness than we can explain. It gave me a safe space where my parents are resting, thus in a sense giving them back to me.”

The burning feeling in his chest that Jason felt could only be described as love. Love for the man held in his embrace, love and admiration for everything he went through while he stayed true to the light. Jason softly took Dick’s face into his hands,“may I kiss you?” he asked his words ghosting over Dick’s skin.

“Yes you may,” Dick answered before Jason slammed their lips together into a passionate kiss. Jason knew he should share part of his past with Dick but he wasn’t ready for the man in his arms to realize the dark truth about him. Because everybody knew that ignorance was bliss.

* * *

_May 14, Roy Harper and Koriand’r from The Outlaws spotted looking worse for the wear. Harper was seen consoling Kori after she burst out in tears due to a phone call. Could this phone call be in regards to Jason Todd, what happened to the lead singer of The Outlaws?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who wrote the ending!!! I did, guess who did not write the middle part towards the ending?? ME... So basically I have an ending but no middle part, but whatever I now know for sure where I'm taking this story. And faith has kind of a role in it, I guess... Y'all leave a comment and kudo because I can assure you it gives me motivation to write (actually write and not (re)watch B99)...So yeah thanks for reading this!! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still sucks NOT EDITED

**Present Day:**

Nobody, nobody knows when tragedy will strike. There is no sign from above that will warn you, there is nothing until it’s too late. It’s one phone call, one goddamn phone call that will ruin everything. Maybe turning it off will stall the inevitable, but no amount of stalling will make the tragedy go away. You could run from it your whole life and still it would follow you to the end of the universe.

He looked outside of the window. The rain was slowly ticking against the window hitting it softly. Oddly enough there was no wind to be heard, it seemed as if the world knew what was going on in the crowded hospital.

The hospital was filled, whereas one life was given another was taken. But somewhere between those corners filled with joy and grievance there was a special place. The recovery center, it was hidden and it seemed only a handful of people got to make it into it. He glanced over to the bed an ashen light striking the person laying upon it, maybe, maybe, they would be sitting in the recovery center, soon

* * *

**Six years earlier December 20th:**

“So you’re leaving in a day,” Dick swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t know what they were exactly only that Jason had stayed over for the entire eight days and both man were...closer. There was a sense of dread for the conversation that was about to occur. Both Dick and Jason felt it, this was the moment that would define what would happen next.

“Yeah,” Jason mumbled.

Dick bit his bottom lip, a dirty habit he tried to get rid of. They were running in circles in the silent room. He wasn’t sure what the two were trying to catch, was it time? Answers, courage to ask the other to stay? He truly had no idea.

“So..”

“So..”

This was it. This was the moment that would define everything, if Jason didn’t ask him to, Dick would not waste his time waiting around him. Dick knew that Jason would forever have a special place in his heart, in a safe space where these memories and moments would be safe.

Jason looked at him, his expression unreadable. It seemed as if he was in a deep thought preparing for a battle far away. Jason looked mighty, powerful, he looked like a _king_ in the light of the setting sun. Black hair sparkled, a white streak flashed, muscles preparing themselves for a fight, the aura surrounding him screamed danger. But his eyes, his eyes had a spark in them that only a lost child could have, a spark that excused everything. His eyes screamed vulnerability, having made the decision.

Dick held his breath in as Jason released his, the air around them seemed to have noticed what was happening and stilled itself. Nothing was heard, and for once Dick wished he could hear police sirens in the distance, see the lights to indicate there was something, anything out there.

“Will--will you--,” Jason closed his eyes, he opened them and the spark seemed to have gone. _It was gone…_ “Dick.”

Jason calling his name shook him out of his dark thoughts, a sad smile was sent his way that should have been able to hide his feelings,“I want this,” Jason seemed to have gotten a surge of confidence, or maybe he had just found a way to order his thoughts and calm the storm in raving in his head. “I want _you_ , god Dickie, I want _you_ ,” Jason shook his head. “I want _us_ to work out. And I’m terrified,” Jason’s voice broke, pausing to collect himself. “Dickie, I am terrified...so--” Jason’s mighty shoulders seemed to break as his entire body shook. “So if you’ll want me...I’m ready.”

Two people. This moment would define the lives of two people; Jason and him. Jason had made his choice, he wanted Dick. Now it was up to Dick to decide what to do with that.

Love at first sight. That was their story, it started with love at first sight. Because how else could anybody explain the closeness both man feel. How else could anybody explain the slowing of time in the dim lit bar. How else could anybody explain Dick picturing Jason in a future with a white picket fence. That certainly wasn’t due to lust, this was something else. Dick knew his answer and he was certain it was the right one, but there was still a small piece in his brain that had doubts. What if he wasn’t enough for Jason, because God knows that Jason is more than enough for him. What if Jason didn’t want the whole deal. What if Dick was just trying to make their “love story” seem more than it was.

Doubt was drowning him as why questions plagued his mind. Forming a tornado he couldn’t seem to escape, all while Jason looked at him taking everything in. Dick wanted to scream. He wanted to yell. He wanted Jason to notice the demons in his head drowning him, he wanted anything to hold onto to keep himself afloat. It was to much, just a simple yes had Dick spiraling in his mind, _just over exaggerating_.

Somehow Jason noticed and Dick wasn’t sure how, but Jason slowly cupped his face. Tilting his face towards him. He slowly hummed beneath his breath, his deep voice soothing Dick. “This is the summer I fell, for the lightning that brightens the sky. And like it, you were just there for a flash of a moment. Taking every little piece of me...this is the summer I fell.” Dick didn’t realize when but the pair was swaying side to side, lightly trying not to disturb the universe.

“Yes,” he softly whispered, hearing Jason inhale sharply.

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes, yes you may.” It was love at first sight, they would be okay.  

* * *

**Six years earlier May 26th:**

“Jason, hello?” Dick was getting more frustrated as the minutes ticked by. “Hellooo?! Jason this is not funny, you know I have a test tomorrow. Hello? Jay are you even listening?!” Uggh letting out a frustrated Dick threw his phone of the bed and watched it bounce off. _His_ boyfriend of five months was ignoring him.

Dick was angry sure they had ups and downs, and hell the first two months were just plain awkward, but they were good. And Jason even took him out for valentine’s day which _really really_ helped. Dick thought they were good, but clearly he was wrong, so wrong. Lately Jason had been everywhere but by Dick’s side. And Dick knew that those were the risks of dating somebody famous, however he didn’t expect Jason to stop listening to him. This was the third time _this_ week alone that Jason spent their whole phone call talking to everybody else but Dick.

“I am so not picking up if you call me again,” Dick whispered to his empty apartment as he went back to the pile of flashcards in front of him. Why had he taken biology again? Because he liked it, right.

Dick was quizzing himself once more, just to make sure he got everything, when he glanced over at the clock above his bed, a “thoughtful” gift Jason has gotten him from Sweden. He noticed it was already ten pm, he had morning classes tomorrow. He groaned feeling his eyelids become significantly heavier, he shouldn’t have looked at the stupid clock. Dick got up from his position on the floor and felt his legs wobble, not the good kind. He shook his head as he gathered all the stuff he needed for tomorrow and threw it in his backpack. Just shoving the loose papers into his books.

He debated if he wanted to eat or take a shower, but before he could do either his body had found his bed and he was mush. Sinking into his bed absently reaching for the phone on the ground that had been there left untouched since the afternoon. He plugged it into the charger near his bed stand, and checked for any new text messages he might have received from Jason. There were none.

Dick sighed closing his phone before turning of the light falling asleep feeling miserable, he didn’t even send a goodnight message.

* * *

**Six years earlier May 26th:**

Jason felt his head pound. The band had really taken off, their tour dates were being extended. And even though he felt ecstatic, Jason couldn’t get electric blue eyes out of his mind. Eyes he hadn’t seen in person since valentines day.

Jason sighed, the band and random social climbers had decided to celebrate, and somewhere in that celebrating he had forgotten to send his boyfriend a good night text. Jason felt like utter trash, while he left the club early making sure that Kori knew she was on Roy duty, he was pretty sure she didn’t mind being on Roy duty. He had been a shitty boyfriend to Dick for the past couple of weeks, ignoring the other during their already limited calls. Dick didn’t ask for much, he loved giving to much. But it seemed lately Jason had gotten a bit greedy as he just took what Dick gave for granted. No. Dick would not like the many men he witnessed beating their other halves. No. he was going to take action and do something romantic.

He got out his phone and dialed the first number that popped up as he scrolled through his contact list,“Hello? 24 Hour Pizza, how may I help you today?” the cheery sound of a female answering the phone shocked him. How could anybody be happy at this ungodly hour, it was three am in the fucking morning.

“I need help.” Jason stated.

She seemed to hum thoughtfully in an almost mocking way, or maybe Jason had just interpreted it wrong. “Yes I gathered that much,” she said. “So what kind of pizza do you want?” she asked.

“No I don’t want help with ordering a pizza,” he stated once again getting fed up with the girl, why the hell would he need help ordering a pizza. Sure his life had ind of sunken a bit, all due to his own doing but that didn’t mean he had sunken enough to need help ordering a goddamn pizza.

“Than what do you need help with?” she asked slowly. “Sir you do know you called a pizza place, and normally I would transfer you to an emergency service of some sort but this phone isn’t fancy enough for that.”

“What’s your name?” he asked instead ignoring almost everything she had just said.

“Stephanie…”

“Okay Stephanie, do you know anything about relationships?” and it seemed a switch had flipped as she seemed to gasp excitedly.

“Yes, oh my god, I am a bit of a relationship expert, like seriously. So one time there was this kid in my math class, right? And I don’t like math but, damn he was quite hot, right?” Jason nodded his head not that she could see it, but whatever. “So his name was Jake and I knew for a fact he liked this shy girl Amy who was, is kind of nerd, right? She’s like cute in a lowkey way like you’re just like you’re such a dork, right? So I set them up, and yeah...they’re still dating even though they both deny that I set them up...So well I am an expert on relationships so ask away,” she blabbed on, kind of reminding Jason of Dick.

“Are you a homophobe?” he asked because sure people had become quite accepting of liking the same gender it was still considered a bit of a taboo, and sadly most people would just watch if a angry mob got you.

“Nope, I have also set up this gay couple once, their names were Steve and James and oh god fantasy threesome, but continue on…”

“Okay Stephanie before you go talking about all those other relationships, I need help with mine, you understand hum once for yes twice for no, no talking till I’m finished, understood?” Jason kind of felt bad for commanding her around a bit like that, but if he had any experience with Dick they wouldn’t even breach the topic of his problems before he would find out what miss Hennings does in her free time. So yeah he had to do this.

Stephanie hummed once and Jason took a deep breath. “So I am dating this guy, and he is amazing. Like I can’t believe he’s real sometimes. He seems--he seems not part of this world, an eternal being of some sorts,” Jason closed his eyes a careless over the shoulder thrown smile greeted him, blue eyes sparkling. “He is something else and I know I don’t deserve him, but for some weird reason he wants me. He wants _me_ . He could have anyone, but he choose _me_. And lately I have been acting like a complete Dick to him. Ignoring him and just taking him for granted. I don’t want him to lose faith in us due to me. He is kind of big on faith,” Jason smiled remembering the soft prayer Dick always said before studying, sleeping, eating.

He was quiet for awhile remembering the greatness of Dick Grayson. “Okay so far what I am getting from this conversation is that you really like this guy, right?”

“Right,” Jason nodded a part of him had forgotten Stephanie was still on the line.

“And you have been acting like a complete dick, right?”

“Yup,” Jason was certain he heard somebody yell language from the other end of the phone.

“Okay so before I can tell you what to do, are you guys doing long distance or something?”

“Yeah we’re doing long distance…”

“Okay so this is the plan send him a basket, wherever you are collect items that your boyfriend likes and send them to him, with a card. So that’s just step one of the plane, do you roger that?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Okay good because here comes the tricky part, if you can deliver the basket first and wait somewhere in his house if you have a key and reveal yourself with chocolate or his favourite donuts in your hand. The thing about the basket is he might interpret it as a way to end thing that’s why you have to double wow him. And what’s better than a basket full of his favorite things? You being there. Because what I got out of that long rant is that, you guys are both missing each other and just need to...sword fight.”

Jason almost choked on his own saliva, a basket he could do, show up to Dick he could do, no he would do he would make space. And sword fight...yeah they could sword fight. He cleared his throat,“thank you for your help Stephanie, truly I appreciate it.”

“No problem, and by the way get Krispy Kreme donuts they’re so good. Just the warmth and crispiness of them will make your boyfriend forget why he was angry at you to begin with.”

“Thanks again,” Jason smiled.

“Have fun sword fighting,” she yelled excitedly before another voice angrily said her name, hanging up in the process. Who knew that pizza places had...such good date advisers working there?

Jason knew what he had to do, he was going to make things right with his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I apologize for being gone for so long but guess who has a math midterm on Wednesday?? ME!!! Guess who is in confusion with chem and math?? ME!!! god school is literally dragging me down, but whatever I'll survive. You guys comment and leave a kudo, because they make me happy :) Thank you for reading this...

**Author's Note:**

> So wow you survived the first chapter, did you like the way I left you without the most important part? Well let me tell you it is about to become better hopefully even though I suck at writing just stick with me and leave a kudo and comment :) Thanks for reading!


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